(In Afghanistan, I collected jokes so I would have one to tell at each Guard Mount. It was good to start the day with a little humor before sending them off to do what they had to do. I don’t remember where I got them and am not implying in any way they are original to me.)
A young ventriloquist is touring military bases with the USO and one night he’s doing a show in a large Base Camp in Afghanistan.
With his dummy on his knee, he starts his routine where he plays straight man while the dummy jokes about how dumb new Second Lieutenants are.
Suddenly, a young 2nd Lieutenant in the 4th row stands up on his chair and starts shouting, “I’ve heard enough of your stupid ass 2nd Lieutenant jokes! What makes you think you can stereotype us that way? What does a soldier’s rank have to do with their worth as a human being? It’s guys like you who keep soldiers like me from being respected in the military, and from reaching our full potential as a leader, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against us all in the name of humor!”
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize saying, “I’m so very sorry. You sound like a very educated and intelligent officer and…” The Lieutenant cuts him off and yells, “You stay out of this, mister! I’m talking to that little bastard on your knee!”